Family Christmas

I have a wonderful family. However, today when I woke up, I wasn't thinking about my family. I was thinking about what seems to be my left kidney, ballooning in painful ways. This happened also on Wednesday, but as today is Saturday, I thought it would be over. It is not over. It might be a variety of different illnesses, both related to my kidney and otherwise. For instance, there is a lot of stuff in your abdomen. Like your colon, and appendix, and some muscles. It could be any of these things. I am avoiding the dreaded WebM.D., however, because instead of assuaging my hypochondria by telling me what is wrong, it fuels it by telling me the worst kind of everything that could possibly be wrong. Headache? Fatigue? Kidney pain? Probably cancer.

Then, after working to pick up the house while Aaron went out to buy spinach dip at Trader Joe's (thanks), I thought about my family. I thought about my newly engaged cousin, and her sister who says we'll have a bachelorette party in Vegas. Excellent. And my aunt and uncle, who are great. And my parents and sister, who are also great. Then they all came over and ate spinach dip with bread that I made and the last of the spiced nuts that I also made.

And we had a great Christmas, and had great talks. Talked for too long about race with my mother, who really likes to talk about race-related issues. Which gets old when all you can think about is your maybe-kidney ailments. And laughed a lot at my aunt, who, with the help of more than a few gin and tonics, felt it necessary to channel Aunt Doris by saying all sorts of wildly inappropriate things.

Good food, and good family. And a simply wonderful roommate (also part of the family), who may be the only person except for Alex that reads my blog. Which isn't much of a blog. And speaking of Alex, I got to see her and Brittany and Lauren and boyfriends tonight, playing Apples to Apples and watching sketch comedy.

It's just great. And in stressful times, I like to remember that it's great to be here and that I am so, so lucky to be where I am, and to know who I know.

Plus, I have an electric blanket. I want to talk about that for a moment. The electric blanket is the thing I have been missing all my life. It turns your bed into a small oven or sauna. Before the electric blanket, I used to try and make this oven myself, pulling the covers into a small shroud around me and attempting to warm it with body heat that was quickly stolen by the cold cold freezing horribly cold sheets. But now, thanks to the power of electriciy (while perhaps giving a kind of rude "screw you" to global warming, for plugging in a blanket...) I can be super warm and comfortable the moment I get into bed instead of having to kick franticly around under the covers to generate heat. I LOVE IT. Best invention ever.

Working

I drove home from Charlevoix tonight after two donor visits, and it was winter-weather-advisory snowy on US-23. Not slippery, which was good, but the billions of snowflakes significantly impaired my vision. Everything was brighter, because of all that glittery surface area. Everything was illuminated.

Last week I was in Chicago, this week was up north (the first time I've driven there and back in a day...) and I'm just so tired. Hopefully it will slow down after Christmas, but I know it actually won't. Wishful thinking. Talking with donors is fun, but I feel like no one wants to give. I'm talking to the wrong people. Where are the magical donors who will track you down and follow you to the ends of the earth to hand you check after personal check of million dollar gifts??? I guess I don't have that list.

Just tired. A sandwich for dinner on the road. Beautiful snowfall outside that I am too tired to go see. Maybe my Christmas miracle will be a couple minutes of watching snow from somewhere, preferably not on the highway.

I do love UM though for their season days - a big hell yes for working at a University.

Monday Night

Ikea, chocolate covered espresso beans, and a cooking show. Unfinished beaded jewelery. Are you the greatest singer of our generation, or the greatest singer of all time? Not only did they skip a step with the wire on my braces, I now have spacers and a tightened bite plane; my mouth hurts. Newly discovered cooking blogs. Wishing that this woman I met with today would live in Michigan for the winter instead of in Florida so I could close a great big gift.

Making Cream of Wheat for breakfast. Going grocery shopping. Chicago next week and I can't believe it is December - only three weeks until Christmas! Which means presents for everyone, stockings, snow, and family. And Christmas shopping, which I haven't done.

New winter work shoes. New windshield wiper blade. New winter coat. Making returns to Target.

"I could have written a story / out of "I love you"."

Framing artwork for my office, printing out fantastic pictures from Australia and Prague. Setting up shop. Peacock earrings. Fashion wraps. Photos of family. Back a little ways, to chopping down our first Christmas tree. Forward, to putting ornaments on it, hopefully this week. Game night with good friends this weekend, a night in instead of nights out. Wishing I had leftover turkey; thinking I couldn't eat it anyway because my teeth hurt.

"Ghostbusters!"
"That's my girl. You know who to call."

Here are the things on my mind.

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. We would travel to Saginaw to see my grandparents, watch the parade on TV, and wait for Grandma to cook dinner so we could help out and set the table. Their house always smelled wonderful. It was warm, and full of love. The whole family was there, and as a kid I was blissfully unaware of whatever cynical and disappointed feelings were floating around in the adults' heads.

The past few years, Thanksgiving has still been wonderful. But Grandma and Grandpa got older; we lost Grandpa, then Grandma, then Aunt Doris. Dinner was moved from house to house depending on which place was most easily accessible for elderly joints. There were tears, admissions of secrets, and moments of joy. Last year, for Doris, we went to Damon's Thanksgiving buffet. I'll admit, it wasn't the perfect day.

And this year, it was wonderful. There was less worrying. More conversation. We had dinner a few weeks earlier so that Aunt Sue could work on Thanksgiving Day, and on a day that everyone could be there. It was bizarre not eating with my family on Thanksgiving, but I had a really nice time at Aaron's aunt and uncle's house.

We sat around the table for a few hours after the meal ended, just talking, pausing, enjoying each other and our full stomachs. Before we ate, silently to myself, I said our family's prayer to remember my Grandma and Grandpa. We had various European aperitifs with dessert. My apple pie was delicious and the crust wasn't so bad. I felt so comfortable, loving some new people.

I thought about what I was thankful for, on the way home, driving past old farmhouses and barns. Past kids playing football in a cornfield. I would love to live in an old farmhouse, to farm and be close to the land and especially to have a huge old house, a house with history, to make my own. I thought about how thankful I am for my family, for my Dad's health, my Mom's happiness at work. That we care about each other. My love for my sister, for Aaron, for my friends. For the love that we bring to others, to Pam and her family, to Kenny, to everyone that we touch throughout our lives. And of course, for a job, food, a house. But mostly for love - I am so thankful, so grateful, for the love I have for others and for myself - my able body and mind and spirit.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Pumpkin Stew

Every year for a few years, Aaron and I have made my Dad's recipe for pumpkin stew that he made one time. It's a fun recipe, and I really like making it because you get to make a whole pumpkin and then you have lots leftover for a lot of yummy meals. And it just makes me feel like fall, which I love.

So here are the steps:

1. Cut up a pumpkin like so, and scoop it out and throw away the goop. You might have to do this step if someone in your house is squeamish and doesn't like the pumpkin guts.










2. Rub butter and salt and pepper and sugar on the inside of the pumpkin to make it all delicious and tasty.










3. Cut up pork, onions, and garlic and cook them in a pan, like this.










4. Cut up a bunch of stuff (i.e. carrots, potatoes, green peppers, beet greens, collard greens, etc.) and then add spices and sauces (i.e. ketchup, barbecue sauce, dry mustard, allspice, chili powder, etc.) and put it all in a big bowl.










5. Mix up some beef bullion cubes and water and then pour it in the mixture, then pour it all in the pumpkin.













Then you pour some water to cover everything in the pumpkin, and bake it all up in the oven for 4 or 5 hours (it takes a long time), and it also might be a good idea (if you like your potatoes and carrots more cooked) to microwave them for a few minutes before you put them in the pumpkin. And then you take it out, and the pumpkin will be brown and smelling good, and everything will be stewed together. My favorite part is scraping all the pumpkin flesh into the stew in a big pot, because that is the good part. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of the finished stew, but trust us - it was delicious and it lasted awhile.

Aaron and I got hungry while waiting for the stew, so we made mini meatball subs. Classy!









Not to mention also very good. And not very good for you, but that's okay, because the pumpkin stew is really good for you. You could totally make it vegetarian, too, and use beans or something else like that, or even lentils would probably be really good. Because the only meat/cheese product in there is butter and pork, which you could easily substitute olive oil and another protein.

One of my favorite fall things to do with Aaron.

Others include:
Going to the apple orchard, which I didn't get to do.
Going to football games and watching them on TV.
Taking walks in the leaves and also running around the block with leaves.
Apple cider (mostly hot, sometimes with rum).
Snuggling under down throw blankets watching Top Chef and 30 Rock.
Fall break camping and making chili.

Up next - Ikea for my birthday (hopefully) and getting a Christmas tree!

Notes from Work

I say the dumbest things when leaving messages with donors if I don't write out what I'm going to say before hand. For example, at the end of a recent message, I told a donor to, "Have a nice rest of the month!" What? Who says things like that?

Wasting time...

I just spent half an hour reading blogs of UM med school students. What an exciting life, with no time for reading other people's blogs. Challenging and probably super stressful and horrible at times, but exciting. Where is my excitement?

Obama's Idea

"Obama’s idea, put simply, was that America can be better than it has been. It can reach beyond post-9/11 anger and fear to embody once more what the world still craves from the American idea: hope.

America can mean what it says. It can respect its friends and probe its enemies before it tries to shock and awe them. It can listen. It can rediscover the commonwealth beyond the frenzied individualism that took down Wall Street. "

Roger Cohen, New York Times Columnist

"How do your see our country today?"

I've been listening to a lot - and I mean a lot of NPR lately. I can't get enough of the election coverage. The problem is, while I'm listening to the radio, I'm usually driving, and I always have great thoughts about the stories I hear, but can't write them down for fear of losing control of the car and dying in a fiery crash. It doesn't help matters much when I also have stimulating conversations with my mom and other friends. So many thoughts, so little motivation to capture them.

One of the things I heard today, on my way home from an event in Grand Rapids, was from On Point. He asked, "How do you see our country today?"

How do I see my country today? As opposed to yesterday; as opposed to the past 4, 6, 8 years.

Differently. Yesterday I saw my country as on the brink of change. But I had my doubts. Would people really have the courage to exercise their most precious right and vote for someone different? For something historical, meaningful, and powerful?

Yes. Yes we did.

Today, I see my country today as a place to be proud of. Not that I wasn't always proud to be an American, because I recognize what amazing opportunities exist for me here that wouldn't exist elsewhere. But it was hard. Hard to be proud, and hard to be anything but apathetic about our nation's political system and those who led it. I was talking with my mom about my generation's attitudes towards politics, and how all I had known for my adult life was a Republican party that ignored the Constitution and ignored basic freedoms; and a Democratic party that was in shambles and couldn't take a strong stance on anything. My views on politics were full of cynicism confusingly and dangerously mixed with the youthful optimism of a small town, college educated, pseudo-adult. Some people in my generation, I believe, was so full of cynicism that Barack Obama's messages of hope, unity, and change were regarded as disconcerting, as if they had a religious connotation. But this is what people felt about other politicians who ran their campaigns decades ago. I have only known, in my short political consciousness, elections that were too close to call for weeks after election night.

But last night, I watched President Elect Obama's acceptance speech with tears in my eyes. I was hopeful, for my country. And in bed by 12:30.

So, today I am proud. Today I am full of hope, because my generation registered to vote and then showed up at the polls. People who had never voted before in their 60+ years on this earth registered and showed up at the polls. Today I am excited about my soon to be President in a way that I have not felt before.

And let me be clear, this is not solely about policies. True, I agree much more with the policies of Obama and the Democrats than McCain and his Republicans. However, I was again listening (surprise) to NPR this morning, and listened to a lifelong Republican, former Congressman Mickey Edwards, talk about why he voted for Obama: because of his disillusionment with the Republican party. That is why I am so excited about the outcome of this election, because it was born out of a campaign that was well executed and did not sling mud back into the faces of those who shouted "terrorist" and "dishonest." The American people did not elect the Republican party who believes that intelligence is equal to elitism, the party who gives up their principles to win elections. Does my generations Republican supporters even realize this difference? Do they think being Republican is accusing half of America as "anti-America"? And these aren't just my sentiments - they are ones shared by this same lifelong Republican. And, who, for the record, is still a Republican.

Last night, Obama called on me not to be a consumer, as George W. did after September 11th 2001, but to be a citizen. A citizen of the United States of America, and doing my part to make this country better. His speech was full of "we" and "you," it was not only about one person, one candidate running for office. It was about the process of choosing to work for a change.

With my vote for Obama, I chose to start working for change. I chose to be an active citizen. And so did millions of others. And I didn't even talk about race.

Surprisingly, the election has not been the only thing on my mind lately. I've been growing slowly into my life as a college graduate, at a job that on most days feels completely over my head. I keep thinking of little things and little victories to write down, only to forget them with the wave of exhaustion that hits me at 5:30, when I collapse onto the couch and watch TV with my favorite roommate. I have a list of blog posts to write, the product of a little too much coffee and a crushing lack of motivation, collecting on scraps of paper in my undecorated and file-systemless office. Wondering, will I be this tired after working here for a year? When will I feel like reading books again? Did Ben Folds write half of the songs on his new CD because he is divorcing his wife?

These are my thoughts, wonders, and feelings of late. Keeping better track of them is one of my goals. I also have lists of goals and things to do and things to be excited about, all scattered around my life.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=96648705
Link to the story about Mickey Edwards.
His book is called Reclaiming Conservatism, and I kind of want to read it now.

Election Day!

Not being one to hide my politics, I am voting for Barack Obama today. And, seeing as I was too young to vote in the last presidential election (by mere days!), this is my first presidential election. I am excited.

To me, one of his campaign slogans is "Hope" because, to me, he's saying to the American people, "Have hope that we don't have to keep going down this same path, of non-diplomacy, of bad economic policies that are really hurting pretty much every family in America." It's not hope in something higher, but hope in America. I think it's incredible and long overdue that people are getting so excited about him - it's made young people and lower income people get excited about politics and voting again, which I admire.

And in terms of McCain, he hasn't been a "maverick" for at least 10 years. He's been increasingly reluctant to break party policies, and he is really similar to Bush on a lot of things.

And THEN there is Sarah Palin. Not only does McCain's choice of such an inexperienced running mate mean that he really doesn't have our country's best interests at heart (he should have chosen someone, for example, who could pick up the slack on economic issues, which he himself has said is a weak point), but I am also appalled at Gov. Palin's approach to things. She bans books, wants to make women pay for rape kits at hospitals, and doesn't have a clue about foriegn policy, one of the most pressing issues of this election.

I think that Obama is brining about real change in this country. People are talking about race more now than before. He is so level headed, so composed, and that is the type of person America needs as our country's leader. If he wins, he's not going to be a perfect president, but he is going to be the kind of president that our citizens and that people across the world can respect.

I am excited, and in the words of James Taylor: GO, OBAMA, GO!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk6a2wrIC-I

Oddities

I was blowing my nose on a Kleenex and I looked down and there was a small caterpiller on the Kleenex. I was inside, at work. Very bizarre.

Nectarines

I have a nectarine that smells really good and ripe and delicious.

Guess what I also have? A JOB.

I was offered the position yesterday, and accepted this morning. I'm working on a start date, becasue the HR rep wants me to start the Monday after my internship ends, but I need to move to a new apartment and I also want somet time to relax and go camping with the b/f before I start thinking about real life.

I can't concentrate on work right now. Hence the blog post.

Not what I thought it would be...

This job is consulting and alumni relations, it is not development in the least. I am going to be unprepared for this job and it freaks me out.

But I am the top candidate! But I am very nervous.

Also today I am so tired that I want to crawl under my desk and sleep for the whole day.

Work Environment

I really like working in teams. Even if the project or certain tasks about a group project are individual, I like to have lots of collaboration and input. This project (the AAUM awards project)doesn't feel like that to me, because no one else is working on this project. It is just me. I get to collaborate as much as I see fit, but I really have to seek it out. There is no one that is as concerned with the project as I am. I like to have more people than just me vested in the outcome of a project. I really liked the environment with my Ozone House group last fall. There were tough points but in hindsight, it was so fun to be proud of something as a group and share that excitement.

I also like jobs where I have to move around a lot and have lots of different tasks. Working on just one project can be kind of boring. I know this because in this internship, I've been seeking out chances to meet with other people and collaborate, like Denise, Shannon, other schools and colleges, etc. I get lonely in my office, and I have had some really great meetings with other people. I like to brainstorm and talk things over.

I hope that if I get this job at OUD that that is what the environment is like.

In contrast to my previous post, I would be really REALLY excited to get this job.

Halfway?!

I feel like summer is almost over. I haven't gone camping yet. I didn't see fireworks. This weekend sucked.

But I might have a job.

Oh good, that means that I'll never, ever have summer again. Sigh.

Bikes at Night

This weekend was absolutely the craziest in my repertoire of weekends. I have to say. I learned a lot about myself, my friends, etc. It ended up being crazy in a good way.

Here are some affirmations: I am the one in control. I am on a team, and the best team that I've ever been on. I will be assertive and aggressive when necessary. I am stunning and sexy and there is no way around that one.

No word on the job.

Monday night I was on the corner of two familiar streets. I looked to my left, and I saw people on bikes. But A LOT of people on bikes. More people on bikes than I've ever seen in my life. And they were all shouting, "Right! Right! Right!" as they turned right, and the cry was echoed by those bikes behind the ones now headed west. It was great. And I had my bike with me, and they said, "Join us!" but I couldn't because my good friend did not have a bike and it would have made me sad indeed to go on a biking adventure and leave him behind. Never have I seen so many bikes.

The only bad part was, too few of them were wearing helmets. Almost none. Shame.

I am stunning, sexy, and in control. How do you like that, world?

Interview #3

So I am at the end of the interview process for a job at U of M. It's an assistant director of major gifts position with the central office of development.

It's the real deal. It's a big deal.

They want to support the internship program that I'm in, so they asked a bunch of the graduated interns if they wanted to apply. And we did. Because who wouldn't want a sweet, early-career (as opposed to entry-level) job with great pay and benefits?

But the thing is, I actually think I would be really good at this job. I think that development is something that really fits me, at least for now.

A major gift officer listens to people with a lot of money who are volunteering to give that money away. A major gift officer educates those people on what they might want to give their money to. And coordinates the people with money, the UM people, and anyone in between.

So, excited beyond belief for a real job. Scared out of my mind to get a real job. Is this the end of life as I know it? Denise says it's better, living life this way. I don't know about that, I had a pretty great time in college.

The only thing I know for sure is that I don't know anything for sure. And the second thing I know for sure is that I love a super-great guy.

The biggest reason I want this job is because if I got it, I would get to stay in Ann Arbor and have the best roommate I've ever had in my life.

And I wouldn't have to apply for any more jobs.

What is my story?

There is something to be said for telling the story of the rest of your life, but what about the story of your life up unti this point?

What if, in an interview, or on a date, or somewhere, you're asked, "Tell me your story."

What would you say? I can tell a thousand different stories from my life, but do I have one cohesive narrative that defines me?

I think that's something I would like to figure out. I will work on how to tell my story.

Middle Ground

Yesterday I was bored, and today I feel a little overwhelmed. I had a meeting yesterday with someone who just started working here, and she gave me a lot of ideas of things to do with my time. It was good to get direction, but hard to have lots of things on my plate at once.

Plus I'm waiting to hear back about getting a third interview. I can't decide if this job would be the best thing for me. Any full time job sounds daunting right now. Can't I just go back to school?

Kelly in Prague --> Kelly in Blog...

Clever, yeah?

I keep having random thoughts on my bike rides home and thought this would be a good place to share them.

Seeing as I am starting a "new chapter" of my life.

As my 8 (10?) year old cousin William said on my college graduation card, "hope u have fun with the rest of your live ♥xoxo".

So here is a story about the rest of my live.